“10/10 wouldn’t recommend getting stung by a sea urchin.”
“My dog and the $100 bed we got him.”
“Wife and I visited the Eiffel Tower for our honeymoon.”
“My $1200 PC was just pulled off my desk by my dog.”
“I drove to a writers group meetup. No one else showed up.”
“Some drunk MF set my car on fire on New Year’s Eve and it burnt down completely. I wasn’t home and this is what I saw when I got home this morning. I just had it completely fixed up.”
“Kids are at their mothers, and the girl I’ve been seeing recently completely ghosted me after making plans for New year’s. Gotta ride my bike at 5:40 in the morning in pouring rain to open the kitchen at work.”
“Someone decided to celebrate the new year by smashing my rear window!”
“My brother-in-law was wondering why his dryer wasn’t working very well… “
“Turns out my wife is allergic to band aid adhesive, cheap and name brand.”
“I used to have a USB cable. I still do, but I used to, too.”
“Saved for months, bought an $850 laptop online, waited 1.5 weeks for shipping, and it ended up being 3 jugs of Walmart brand juice instead.”
“Realized too late into cooking that my Fiancée took all the skillets when she moved out, thus the baking sheet-griddle.”
“My roommate and I bought a lot of snacks for our NYE party… and nobody showed up.”
“Second day of the new year, snapped my leg in a climbing accident, no family or friends in town and girlfriend’s gone on a skiing vacation for a week. At least I have pain meds.”
“I got my name embroidered on a work jacket. I think I chose the wrong font..”
“Stay safe while playing with fireworks.”
“Getting a speeding ticket on your car as it’s being towed.”