Those Years Are Finally Over

Husband? Dead. Emotion? Devastated. Insurance money? Cashed. Eyebrows? Don’t need them.

4 years ago. My friend is saving this photo for her future kids to show that she thought she had a cool phase too.

Was going through old pics with my gf and felt that more people needed to see this

The lawless wasteland of early 2000’s dance- with a bonus of extroversion and lack of coordination

My Dad’s Cigar Phase, 1996

My humour was top tier

I was slowly peeing on my clothes while this picture was taken. Its a celebration and we’ve been told that day was really important, I wasnt gonna interrupt our big day with a basic human need. Nobody noticed and i spent 4 more hours and my pee dried up on me

A little on the young side, but behold one of the strongest mullets known to man.

I was so proud of this outfit

You could say I was slayin the game in 2010. The blazer really pulls the outfit together

My coworker gave me permission to post this picture of her in high school.

Middle school graduation. Definitely liked to stand out

When I was 14 I made my younger brother take photos of me dressed up as Harry Potter characters. this is my Moaning Myrtle

My parents on their second date!

That time I cut my own bangs right before the father daughter dance… The bangs aren’t the worst thing about this photo but I try to place as much blame on them as humanly possible. (Circa 1995?)

All grandma wanted was a nice family photo of all her precious granddaughters. Hey at least I was smiling right? 2009 was a rough one.

When my girlfriend peaked.

Money kingpin (circa. 2001).

Me in 88 with my Grandpa’s cool old ford. He let all of us kids drive it with him on the backroads. Love you Grandpa Melvin!

The year: 1980. The hair: enormous. My vibe: soulless.

Bootleg Pokemon t-shirt and shades on a string, it’s Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl

Everyone knew me, just not my actual name. “Hey, Headgear Girl!”

This absolute legend of a hairdo, circa 1983

My grandma loved my mullet so much that she would randomly take me to the mall for glamour shots

Year 10 Formal, 1994. My mum made the silver dress for me, but everything else including the jewellery I raided from her wardrobe. I was 16 going on 40! Bonus blunder with my sailor outfit in the photo on the mantle

Christmas, 1990. Not five minutes after receiving the best present ever – Tyco Fast Traxx – my brother accidentally stepped on it and broke it. I cried in agony, mourning my loss – standing outside, in the cold, looking like I was trying to hold my pee in.

This was taken before an American Girl fashion show/event. Circa late 90s.