Things Only People Who Work Weird Hours Will Understand

Getting annoyed when your friends aren’t around to go to the pub at 2 p.m. on Tuesday.

Having to kill massive amounts of time before anyone can come meet you to do anything.

“Yeah, it’s cool that you can’t meet me until 8 p.m….even though I’m off at 12 and basically have to be asleep by 9 p.m.”

When you see tweets from people who are like, “Yay, so glad it’s FRIDAY!!!” you’re like YEAH WHATEVER.

HOW NICE FOR YOU.

Any song about Friday playing while you’re at work makes you want to cry.

Well, I would like to get down with Friday, but I CANNOT.

Only being able to do your grocery shopping at the 24-hour Tesco, at 2 a.m.

 Those magnificent bags under your eyes.

Wondering if you have a problem for drinking at 6 a.m. even though you technically just got off work.

Never knowing what day of the week it is.

Being a killjoy on a Saturday night because you need to go home and sleep.

Being a killjoy on Saturday night because you now have to go to work.

Not even being out on a Saturday night because you’re at work.

Having a bizarre eating schedule that means you’re ready for lunch at 9 a.m.

And are ready for second dinner at 9 p.m.

And it’s basically always SNACK O’CLOCK.

You feel personally victimised by the song “9-5”.

When a customer says to you, “Enjoy your weekend!” when you’re clearly working.

All of the inside jokes and WORK LOLZ happen when you’re out of the office, so you have no idea what anyone is talking about, ever.

Missing all the big office parties (and every single night out) because you’re holding down the fort while everyone else has fun.

Missing out on all the big family gatherings on holidays because you’re WORKING.

 When your grandma gives you shade when you arrive late for Christmas dinner because you were WORKING.

When your mum makes passive-aggressive Facebook statuses about how great it was “having all the family together” for Sunday dinner and you were WORKING.

Torturing yourself by checking Instagram when all of your friends are out and you’re WORKING.

When you sign for a delivery and the postman totally judges you because it’s 4 p.m. and you’re still in your pyjamas and have major Sleep Face.

Literally never seeing your significant other when they’re awake.

When you hear people complain about being tired and you’re like, “I’VE BEEN UP SINCE 3 IN THE MORNING”.

Feeling like you exist in a parallel universe only inhabited by bored paramedics and miserable journalists.

When you see university students slobbing around town in sweatpants and desperately clutching Frappuccinos and you’re just like, “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TIRED EVEN IS, KID.”

Checking Twitter on your break and the only ones online are people with insomnia or Australians.

Bank holidays are really just a slap in the face.

When people totally don’t understand why you can’t just “change shifts” so you can come to their birthday party.

Feeling like a slob for sleeping until 3 p.m. even though you didn’t get home from work until 10 a.m.

Trying to sleep when the rest of the world outside is 100% awake and SUPER LOUD.

So many children crying! So many cars! So many people having their houses renovated! So much DIY! SO MUCH TALKING ON THE STREE

Feeling like you work a lot harder than everyone else because it’s only YOU working on your shift.

“Can you cover for me while I head out for some food? OH, WAIT, I AM ALONE.”

You are always THAT friend who can never commit to anything because you don’t know your work schedule yet.

So lonely. 🙁