Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
I was on a Chicago to NY flight. We all get on the plane, but were delayed taking off due to a heavy storm going on. About 20 minutes in, everybody was still pretty calm until the pilot announces they’re working on getting our baggage loaded, because it’s been sitting on the tarmac this entire time. The entire plane looks out, and sees all our luggage just sitting there in the pouring rain uncovered, and starts freaking out.
Not my story, but a friend of mine was attending a Christian Pentecostal summer camp a few years ago with some high school students and other adult leaders. For anyone who is unfamiliar with Pentecostal youth camps, the evening church services can get pretty lively and charged with emotion. People being slain in the spirit, speaking in tongues, lots of worship and confessing sins. That sort of thing. There were probably a couple hundred students, so things may have gotten chaotic.
Anyway, my friend and one of the other adult leaders get pulled on stage to confess sins to the audience. Not sure who thought this was a good idea, but maybe it wasn’t planned. And the other adult leader, a nice guy in his 20s (newly married), confesses to the packed auditorium of high schoolers hyped up on Jesus that he used to have sex with his dog. The evening service pretty much ended after that.
When I was a kid, there were about 6/8 families in our area who were a good group of friends. Regular holidays together, kids all close friends too and in the same classes at school etc.
The backstory was that one of the families kept noticing money going missing from a drawer in the master bedroom. They had an older son who was getting the blame but was denying it.
Fast forward a few weeks and it’s their younger kid’s birthday, and everyone is at their house. Usual script was the kids party would be late afternoon, then in the evening the kids would end up playing games in some bedroom as the adults had a few drinks. Kids were happy because we got to stay up late with all our friends, parents got to have a few guilt free drinks.
This night was going as normal until we’re all shuffled out and home earlier than usual. We got the full story the next day.
Once the kids were out of the way, the owners of the house had turned on their tv and pressed play on a video. On screen there was cctv of the bedroom where the money had been going missing. Clearly in the video you could see the wife of one of the other couples, sitting in that very room, going into the drawer and taking money. Apparently the switched off the video, said “what you saw is exactly what it looked like” and asked that couple to leave. Everyone else left shortly after. –
My friend used to work for a company that has always promised our IT department a trip to Hawaii for working through a couple of rough years without pay raise and on the flip side we won’t get any personnel cut. It was a verbal promise that once we are back to profitable, the IT department would get all expense paid trip.
Back around October of 2015, they were gathered in the largest meeting room for a meeting with the president. There were snacks, drinks, pizza, etc. It was assumed that it was a celebration for a good year and they’d get the promised trip. It was a mass layoff since IT has been outsourced. All credentials were locked during the meeting and everyone was asked to leave the premise right after the meeting.
That time my boozy aunt started getting on my teenaged cousin’s case about his pants sagging and gave him a wedgie “helping him” pull them up during a fairly formal holiday dinner.
He chased after her to give her a wedgie back.
She was wearing a skirt and nothing under it. My cousin managed to pull it up over her head while making contact with deeply disturbing parts of Aunt Janice.
Every fork in the place just froze while my aunt was standing there too drunk to understand why her skirt was over her head and my cousin stared in horror at his hand that was wet or dirty or God knows what, whispering audibly, “But… no.”
I used to work for this new performance hall in NYC and one morning during our morning meetings, one of our managers thought she was being unique and uplifting by ending our meeting with forcing us to say “one thing I’m grateful to (company name here) for is….”
All 30 of us were pretty happy to just start the day since it was a beautiful day out but that soured our mood really quick. A bunch of people got hostile with answers like “the wonderful health care we are given” (we have none) and “the magnificent hours” (hours are crap and inconsiderate).
The President of our company got completely plastered at our Christmas party. His speech started off funny because he was slurring hard and he was playing on it. Then he started talking about how he came from nothing and became something. Then he proceeded to tell us how if it wasn’t for us working so hard and keeping our clients happy, he wouldn’t have been able to accomplish building his mega mansion for him and his family, nor would he have been able to afford his new benz.
Awkward muttering, followed by him directing us to “drink up & enjoy, because due to budget cuts, the future Christmas party/bonus budget is cancelled from here on out.” Many of my coworkers relied on that bonus. No one was impressed. Except for 1 person, the rest of us quit within the first few months into the new year.
I made the mistake of playing Scattergories with my mother. She said “No Foreign words, you have to use English words”. Fine, fair enough. She then called out someone for using a foreign word (I can’t remember, it’s been 10 years). He took off the points. The next fucking round she used three foreign words. I called her out on it and she said it was no big deal, it was just a game. I argued that not only had SHE set the rule, but that she already called someone out for doing it.
She called me a fucking asshole and left the room. The Thanksgiving family time was over as pretty much everyone decided that was the time to leave.
Total time from game start to end of the family time? 6 minutes.
The other day, on Thanksgiving, my brother cracked a cold beer right as we were about to eat. Problem was, we were at my mom’s and she’s super anti alcohol (unless she wants some) Well, since my brother cracked one, my dad did too and my mom turned into some shit from the exorcist. Screaming, cussing my dad and brother, hurling personal insults, looking for keys so she could threaten to leave, the whole nine yards. The worst part is i havent been up to see them in months so I had just driven 3+ hours with my kids and my husband and we had just gotten there 30 mins prior. I just sat there awkwardly staring at my husband while the brawl took place until we could sneak out on the porch to hide. Then we all ate in silence. How was y’alls holiday??
Whole company (60+ people) gathered at a product unveiling/cheer leading event where we were expecting “surprising” news (bonuses?). Instead we were informed that the least senior and biggest dickhead was promoted to partner. All downhill from there.
At a small gathering, as the lid was lifted on an extra large pizza, a guy with a miserable cold sneezed directly onto it.
I’d already seen Batman with Jack Nicholson as Joker. I went again with my uncle (not much older than me) and a few of his friends. Remember that scene where Joker (who has yet to be seen as Joker) is talking to the crime boss who tried to have him killed? The boss (Grissom) calls Joker “Jack”, his real name. And Joker responds with “Jack’s dead. You can call me (steps out of shadows for the big reveal) Joker.” At “Jack’s dead…”, everyone watched the film melt onto the camera. I laughed my ass off but everyone there who hadn’t already seen the movie lost their damn minds. I actually thought I was going to witness a riot.
Every family reunion when my one aunt gets drunk and brings up my other aunt that died. Happens every time
Bad snowstorm started about 4am a few years ago. My co-workers and I were texting each other thinking no way would they make us come into our job today (we are non-essential workers). We’re all home waiting for the email to go out regarding whether or not our boss would give us the day off. Email finally goes out around 7:30am saying that we would have a shorter day but everyone must show up for work by 9.
So I layered up, cleaned off my car, shoveled out of my parking spot and headed to work on VERY precarious roads. I got to work on time and was greeted by my co-workers who were all pretty happy just to not have gotten into an accident on the way over.
All of the clients and meetings had been cancelled so there was a party like atmosphere. Just as we were talking about playing charades, we get another email from the boss saying because road conditions were so bad they were closing the agency after all and everyone had to go home. This was 20 minutes after we had all gotten there.
I have never seen 20+ people all scream ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME at the same time before. It was absurd and everyone was pissed.
Dude decided to pop the question to his girlfriend…at a work holiday party.
She said no.
Both parties began to cry inconsolably. All the guys in the room tried to cheer up the guy with their tales of woe. All the women in the room took the woman aside and did whatever the female version of the above was.
Went from a fairly happy event to a complete disaster within minutes.
Plus side, while all of this shit was going down no one was hitting the buffet so I cleaned the fuck up.
Family members waiting outside the a baby ward, the husband comes out with a shocked expressions, sits down and says “the kid’s not mine”, everyone becomes confused but then are horrified.
A day later, I could see the husband talking to who I presume are his in-laws, begging him not to leave their daughter and saying they’ll do something about the baby.
Was on a team (about 15 people) for a special project for a regional Internet Service Provider. During the bi-weekly team meeting the manager was super pumped about how far ahead of schedule we were due to some new processes we came up with.
After about 20 minutes of atta-boys, the manager concluded with telling us all we were being laid off in the same tone of voice she used for the whole meeting issuing a bunch of praise.
Most of us awkwardly laughed for a couple seconds thinking she was joking. She was not.
Drinking with colleagues from work. A guy was needling me and a friend about how out of shape we are (it was fair and light-hearted). Suddenly my friend blurts out ‘yeah, at least we have attractive wives.’ Needling guy’s wife was standing right there.