Stupid

"Three times now, I have taken the cap off of a tube of super glue and put it in my mouth to hold it. Three. Times."

“So I forgot to pack my gym shoes.”

“People who leave their litter and uneaten food all over fast food restaurant tables, and the floor area.”

The listing looks normal at first...

"Coworker bought a low-flow shower head. He filled the BATHTUB using the new low-flow shower head BECAUSE IT WOULD USE LESS WATER!"

”Let’s put the logos behind the buttons”

"The fact Florida had to tell people NOT to shoot at the hurricane."

"—But sir, there’s a problem... The electric lines are in the way.

"Saw a resume that, under the education tab, went from “Marine Officer Training School” to simply “Clown School.”

Someone in my history class argued that Mussolini was a type of pasta...

“Yes, now it looks amazing. It’s OK to print.”

“At least he’s not texting.”

“Bicycle lane in Paris. The two white bump are nearly invisible because of the paint camouflaging them.”