Life

Body shaming men. Make fun of a woman’s boob size and people are aghast. Make fun of someone’s d@#k size and that’s hilarious.

“My ex sent me the photo of the cat that he gave to me, but then kept for himself.”

"When they tell you "what I'm paying you stays between you and me, don't discuss pay with anyone else" usually means they are trying to pay you less than your coworkers who do the same job and don't want you to know."

The true extent of how our diets affect the planet is only now becoming common knowledge as the global environmental crisis has become a topic of extreme importance.

"Padded bra = effective fireworks ear muffs"

"Aitzaz Hasan. 7th January 2014, He Lost His Life Stopping A Suicide Bomber From Entering His School. He Saved Hundreds Of His Peers, At Only 15 Years Old"

The Phonetic Alphabet, Car stuck in the mud hack, How to tell if venomous guide...

"People that pull out in front of you, when no one is driving behind you, and then drive 20 miles an hour."

“It’s never too late to make a change! I just started skydiving a year ago!”

"I went to leave on time, and I was asked if I was working a half day. My manager's argument was that if I could leave on time, I clearly didn't have enough work, and I should be working late every single night."

“I said goodbye to my long nose 5 months ago.”

“My boyfriend surprised me with a kitten today.”

"Well, we could have had the wedding in fall 2019, but my wife wanted more time to make sure everything was perfect, so we decided to have it in April 2020."

"Who ate all the cherries in the cherry cake. I was blamed for this for YEARS after someone picked out all of the cherries and ate them during a family Christmas party. 8 years later my little sister confessed to me that it had been her."

“We really take post-op care seriously at my job. And cuddles are the best medicine.”

"I’m a pretty positive person in general and I love making dumb puns or jokes. Even at my expense I feel like it’ll get a chuckle."

"Teenagers are just kids. It’s something I quite literally was not capable of understanding until I wasn’t a teenager anymore. When I was a teenager I felt soooo grown up."

"Jumping down from a height greater than a few feet. As a kid I could jump off a roof and roll with it, nowadays if I land funny I fear I’ll be paralyzed for life."

“My monthly grocery bill has dropped by about $100 since I started only buying groceries one day per week. I buy my groceries on Mondays and only the things that I need for the meals that I’ve planned.”

"Has anyone tried to learn to do a handstand as an adult? How is that SO DIFFICULT"