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"Well, we could have had the wedding in fall 2019, but my wife wanted more time to make sure everything was perfect, so we decided to have it in April 2020."

"Sleeping in the reflection of an uncovered mirror. I think the whole point of the superstition is you just scare yourself when seeing reflection at night, but makes me uneasy."

"Who ate all the cherries in the cherry cake. I was blamed for this for YEARS after someone picked out all of the cherries and ate them during a family Christmas party. 8 years later my little sister confessed to me that it had been her."

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The best gifs and animations around the net.

"She likes to collect bird beaks."

"I’m a pretty positive person in general and I love making dumb puns or jokes. Even at my expense I feel like it’ll get a chuckle."

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"Teenagers are just kids. It’s something I quite literally was not capable of understanding until I wasn’t a teenager anymore. When I was a teenager I felt soooo grown up."

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“Creep” by Radiohead (1993), “…Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears (1998), “Enter Sandman” by Metallica (1991)...

"I once asked a girl, “Where have you been all my life?” Her response was, “I don’t know, but I wish I was still there.”"

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The best gifs and animations around the net.

I went home early, didn’t finish my shift, because f@#k em. But when I got home I decided to call my local OSHA inspector and report them for not having a certified operator on staff, as well as numerous other hazards.

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"When I saw my dad, naked, filling my stocking (not a euphemism.)"

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

"Has anyone tried to learn to do a handstand as an adult? How is that SO DIFFICULT"

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So I was hunting for a rental house for the valentines day weekend and wasn’t finding much, so I popped into the local Craigslist page and found a place at a decent but very believable price.

"Julie is very big into fad diets (Atkins, keto, South Beach) and every year she sends me a list of foods that she cannot eat and a list of things that she can."

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Connecticut – Mashed Potatoes, Virginia – Mac and Cheese, Montana – Mashed Potatoes...