Crazy

"My wife’s best friend/maid of honor called me the wrong name in her toast. The name she called out: my wife’s ex-boyfriend. I laughed it off at the time, but to be honest I was pretty humiliated."

“My dog’s harness. I forgot how pink it was.”

"The Snow Scene In The Wizard Of Oz (1939) Used 100% Pure Asbestos Fibers For The Snow"

“What is this spherical silver item that opens up to reveal a fixed metal plate with small holes in it?”

“Setting up my home office”

“Metal object, about 5 inches in diameter, partially buried”

"Woke Up To What Sounded Like Someone Trying To Kick In My Door.. Looked Out And Saw This.. Neighbors Had Just Recently Renovated The Entire House And Basement..."

“My neighbor ‘allegedly’ refused to pay the guy who cleared his back yard. He’ll be coming home to this gift left in his driveway.”

"Ultrasound Machine For Sale At A Thrift Store In Florida For $4,000! I Have Soooo Many Questions"

“It was me that smoked weed in the garage not my sisters boyfriend at the time. Haha f@#k that guy anyways.”

“I’ve been wanting this mug for over a year and I finally ordered it. It came in today and I dropped it while I was opening it.”

"Update on my jobless roommate who won’t do his dishes. My latest invention: the bad roommate box :)"

“Got some Bojangles this morning and took a bite out of my Cajun filet and it’s just straight-up raw.”

’’So the cake box lid isn’t rainproof after all...’’

"If you swallowed the black watermelon seeds a watermelon would grow in your belly."

"Grooms speech was all about how he liked her hair and makeup. They didn’t last 4 months."