Crazy

“How can I look older? I’m 31.”

"Forestry takes a beating on pants. These wore really evenly and both sides broke on the same day."

“My 3-year-old decided to put lipstick on everywhere except for her lips.”

"One day before my birthday I went to a skating place with a friend and a furry wearing a mask couldn’t see me and… happy birthday"

"Ship Breaking. One Of The Most Dangerous Jobs In The WorldShip Breaking. One Of The Most Dangerous Jobs In The World"

"My landlord pretended to do do work the flat but ended up installing this 360° wifi surveillance camera which also records audio without telling me about it."

“A cafe near me uses different-colored mustaches instead of table numbers for bringing you your order.”

"One Of A Seemingly Endless Series Of Unreasonable Notes Left By My Boss. It’s Great Here"

“I thought there was a snail in my fridge, it’s just chili.”

"After The Government Let Companies Influence School Curriculums, My Exams Now Look Like This"

"Figures for invisible characters"

“What the actual fork?”

“Taken from the summit of Mountain Hood yesterday.”

“The bottom of the dice bag I got isn’t even sewn in, so all the dice get mixed up.”