Lessons Learned From Mario Kart 64

This shortcut was life changing.

The penguins will get you every. damn. time.

Slow and steady on this part. Slow and steady.

Nothing is more satisfying than pressing the start button

This bridge had a beautiful view

So was this one…

Never trust a question box in the middle of nowhere

Always choose Toad

The three mushroom boost was only good for this part:

And this one…

And this one, even though it took 10 tries.

And, getting first place meant the other person was giving up their controller.

 Bananas did not make you go faster, but they did look cool

The tunnel in Choco Mountain looked like a surprised face

And you’ll probably hit yourself with your own green shells the most.

 And Frappe Snowland is definitely just Canada

 A star means HOPE.

The longest 3 seconds of your life was waiting for this guy to save you

If you got lightning, no one would be spared.

This meant impending doom:

You better have a big TV, because you’re only going to use half of it