’’So how is your morning going?’’
’’I Just opened my laptop and these black circles appeared out of the blue and it even gets bigger.’’
’’Whipped myself into a frustrated rage trying to find my drill for half an hour.’’
’’I need a file lost in this room.’’
’’What I asked for vs what I got’’
’’My toddler and I walked to the park just to find that the whole playground has been removed.’’
’’I cleaned the cat’s litter box and brought the bag with me to throw away. I also brought my lunch. Guess which bag came to work with me.’’
“I lost my wallet 3 days ago, finally ordered new cards, and then found it here.”
“I bought a sesame bun.”
’’I went down to the basement to do laundry.’’
’’I was confused when it didn’t sound like it hit the floor.’’’
’’Someone at my stepdad’s work put dry ice in the toilet by mistake.’’
’’I did not look closely enough at that label.’’
’’I’ve been waiting 6 weeks for a rather expensive toilet, and it has finally arrived.’’
’’Thieves stole my steering wheel, and now I can only drive straight.’’
’’My in-laws invited us over for dinner; it was a trap.’’
’When I looked down today:’’
“These eggs are supposed to be in the pies. I made 2 hot oily chocolate garbage circles.”
’’I received this gift from my crush.’’
’’Today I learned that I sleepwalk.’’
’’I think my attempt at growing tomatoes turned out rather well.’’’
’’When you live in Norway and forget to close the window.’’
’’I spilled 50,000 glass beads on the ground and I now have to sort them by hand.’’
’’$400 window replacement to steal a pair of $20 headphones I found at goodwill…’’
’’My boss’s secretary quit this morning after delivering breakfast.’’
’’My chips fell off my desk in the worst way possible.’’
’’My mom ordered a TV for my birthday, we just opened it up…’’
’’Tempered glass lid shattered, giving me Schrodinger’s Stir-Fry.’’
’’Just got home from a 10 hour shift and my front door key broke off in the lock.’’
’’Halfway into the pizza, noticed there’s a huge footprint inside the pizza box.’’
’’My keys decided I’m not going anywhere today.’’
’’I have 4 exams in the next 2 weeks. Soonest I can receive a replacement is 15 days from now.’’
’’I forgot the Pepsi was in the back of my car, and it was −16 Fahrenheit night before last.’’
’’In ten seconds I’m going to discover the value of lifejackets.’’
’’I realized I came to work like this. I work 1.5 hours from home, so I can’t go home and change.’’
’’Phone slipped out of my pocket while mowing.’’
’’This squirrel stole the croissant I’d been saving to finally enjoy after a bad day.’’
’’My neighbor’s tree fell on my house today.’’
“The real walk of shame.”
“My loom before and after the art teacher ‘helped’ me.”
“Tried to capture the moment I proposed to my girlfriend this weekend.”
“I hate everything.”
“This rogue sleeve in all my wedding photos.”
“When you finish your food, and your bowl rages agaisnt you.”
“When you’re on a 2 way road and the person behind you won’t turn off the high beams.”
“My commute is 45 minutes. Just pulled up to the office, reached for my bags and…”
“Watching a movie in class on a dirty whiteboard, with a crooked, blurry projector.”
“I thought this was silver wrapping paper.”
“This burger I got. The cashier told me it was acceptable.”