Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
” I’m a teacher. If you as a parent will read with your child often and early, your child will thrive in school. I’m talking daily books read together from newborn to about third grade. Every single day. No teacher can replace that.”
“I’m not training your dog, I’m training you.”
“Human Resources: we exist to protect the agency from the employees, not the other way around.”
“I’m an attorney. The secret is shut the hell up.”
“Plumber here. There’s no such thing as a flushable wipe. The package lies. You drains WILL clog, and fast; your landlord will charge you; it’s going to suck. Throw wipes in the trash if you use them; toilets paper is the only acceptable wipe.
Not a secret at all, just not common knowledge somehow.”
“I’m a server. No matter how much we insist it’s “okay” that you are keeping the entire restaurant open after we’ve closed, please know we are 100% lying. We will get fired if we deviate from anything other than pure delight that you are keeping us from going home. We dread it. Please don’t believe us.”
“A lot of librarians will waive your fines if you have an excuse and you don’t ask too frequently, even large fines. Also, librarians DON’T CARE about your fines and aren’t judging you. Please come back. We personally have more fines than you. Librarians are ALWAYS overdue with their books.”
“I design slot machines for casinos… Don’t play slots.”
“Knowing how to research the answer to a question is at least as or even more useful than knowing the answer to begin with. I made a living in IT for a decade with that mindset.”
“Teacher: The parents are more of a hassle than the students.
I doubt that is a secret, but there it is.”
“Managed boarding and grooming kennels for 8 years: the secret is that the employees actually do love your pets too. Even the difficult ones, most of us realize they just miss their people. The number of times I’ve weeped when a pet died, or spent way too many hours comforting a dog with separation anxiety, or spent hours off the clock with a boarder who needed to be rushed to a vet office…wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Some pets just suck though, not gonna lie.”
“I’m a dentist. Here’s the lowdown on toothpaste.
As long as it has fluoride they are all basically the same.
When I was in dental school, the [Tooth paste brand] lady came by and said that everything that says [Toothpaste brand] on it is all exactly the same, the only difference is the packaging. So whether it says whitening, or gum protection, or whatever else, it is all exactly the same.
The exception is sensitivity toothpaste typically does have an extra active ingredient. KNO3, which helps with sensitivity.
Don’t ever feel obligated to buy the expensive toothpaste because you think it will be better for your teeth, just buy whatever you like best.”
“As a beginner counselor I worked with a lot of children and adolescents. Consistently the discussion with my colleagues was how it was the parents who were the biggest problem and the kids were just adapting to a crazy environment.”
“I’m a musician. It’s not really a secret but 90% of of our revenue is from merch. Spotify plays, show guarantees, etc, everything is menial in comparison to shirt sales. In fact, a big reason bands tour as often as possible is because we can sell more shirts when we’re in front of people.”
“Not an industry I work in per se, but I used to be in a sales role. One of my customers was a milk bottling plant. I was somewhat surprised that they were putting the exact same milk in both organic and non-organic cartons. Turns out all of their milk is organic, but in order to not miss out on the sales of non-organic milk, they just bottle them differently and sell them at different prices.”
“I’m a fossil replicator and apparently the industry secret is the fact that we exist. So many people are blown away to learn that most fossils they see in museums are replicas.”
“Piss off one nurse; you piss off ALL the nurses.”
“Construction boy here. If your windows or sliding doors are tough to open and close. 9 times out of 10, we put your own dish soap on tracks and the thing works perfectly. It take 5 minutes and we charge 150. Dish soap people, its better than WD40 sometimes.”
“Scientists: We disagree with one another a lot more often than the media would often lead you to believe.
The reason we’re good at our jobs though is that (ideally) we like disagreeing with each other and we are able to move on when proven wrong. It’s a part of the job.”
“Former aircraft fueler. Don’t check your pets in kennels. Especially in summer or winter. They are submitted to some very harsh environments, left on belt loaders in the sweltering heat right next to a running APU that’s loud enough to deafen human ears, let alone a dog’s. It’s terrible. I always feel so sorry for them.
American Airlines will destroy your luggage. They get overloaded on carts, fall off on the way to the plane, and are left there to get run over by tankers and yes, fuelers, and rained on, then dragged to the edge of the ramp to sit all night while you arrive at your destination and wonder where the hell your bags are.
If your departure is delayed, 90% of the time it’s us (the fueler). Look out the window to the right side if it’s a small plane, left side if it’s a really big plane. If there’s a truck sitting under the wing, we’re the reason you’re late. Sorry.”
“Some therapists/counselors are on the wrong side of the couch, so to speak. If you feel your mental health provider is unhinged, they may very well be.”
“This seems to be a secret to many customers; it actually pays off to be patient and polite if you need the staff at a store to resolve an issue or help you with something.”
“Used to screen resumes for small companies. Job “requirements” are more of a wish-list situation. Never let some unchecked boxes deter you from applying – you have no idea what the applicant pool is like. The biggest boon, especially at small companies, is someone who legitimately cares.”
“Former industry: commercial radio.
It’s never caller 5. It’s the caller who sounds best on air.”
“I’m a massage therapist and the biggest secret is stretching if you stretch properly you will get rid of effectively 90% of the problems but no one is taught how to stretch properly The best stretches are actually the stretches you learn in middle school hold still count to 10 take deep deep breaths move on.
I’m not going to lie this post has blow up a lot more than I expected and I’m just going to give a guess a little more information. The whole point of stretching is to do the opposite motion of what the muscle does whenever it’s in use and the whole point of stretching is also to alleviate pain and bring circulation to the area and regulate the muscles basic systems. So here’s the basic rule if you hurt somewhere do not stretch that place find the opposite muscle in the opposite movement and stretch THAT ONE. The way the body works is kind of like a giant game of tug-of-war muscle actually controls the movement of bone and helps with your posture , no one has perfect posture though. so stretching make sure that nobody wins the tug of war and that your bones remain in place is close to perfect posture as possible, which means that your bones and ligaments don’t take any damage from gravity or any other force that affects your body during your daily life. I will not lie however if you do have injuries like if you broken or torn or dislocated or separated something that pain will never go away it will dissipate and it will get to a lower level in which your body will be able to tolerate on a daily basis but it will never go away The body can never correct something that’s been broken. this should help you be able to search your own stretches online but apparently I need to make a YouTube channel. just thinking opposites if you’re back hurts look for stretches for your front like in your chest in your core if the front of your legs hurts you need to stretch the back of your legs if the front of your arms hurt stretch the back of your arms just do the complete opposite of wherever you hurt and start stretching that area and you should notice pretty quickly that it’s tighter when you stretch the side that does not hurt then versus when you stretch the side that does.. if I make a YouTube channel I’ll make the post here somewhere in the comments so people can find it good luck!”
“Auto insurance agent. Please, for the love of god, don’t tell auto insurance agents more than you have to. They ask you a question, just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and answer the question as straight as you can. If you go on and on about your life story, you will probably end up saying something you don’t have to and making your rate higher, or getting yourself declined. We WANT to get you that policy as cheap as possible, only tell us what we need to know and don’t say anything else.”
“Former bath and body works associate here. The scents they “discontinue” will come back with a different name and new marketing. They’re just recycling the scents.”
“At Goodwill, we don’t clean anything that we sell, and we get some really gross stuff that touches everything else so next time you buy something from Goodwill, wash it well.”
“There is way more butter than you think in almost every dish you eat at fancy restaurants, and that is usually the reason you won’t see the amount of calories in each dish.
Source: 5 years as a chef in Italian cuisine head chef, 8 years in an Italian kitchen.”
“As a former TSA worker airport security is alot of theater. TSA is constantly failing plain cloths inspections. I worked with a guy who got fired because someone showed him an ID with a picture of Micky Mouse on it and he let the person through because he wasn’t paying attention.”
“Federal HR here, if you put the words from the vacancy announcement about what you need to qualify in your resume you’ll almost always be qualified, we search for those words instead of reading an entire resume.”
“A huge portion of online reviews, ratings, social media presence, etc that you see for any given company are fake, paid for, or done by multiple accounts controlled by us. This includes a company’s Glassdoor page (fake reviews about how great it is to work there so that the million negative reviews don’t crush their page).
I’m not saying it’s every company out there, but it’s been a lot of the ones I’ve worked for.
Source: am copywriter. What are ethics? I surely don’t know anymore.”
“The ice cream machine isn’t broken, the f@#kers were just too lazy to clean it, or more likely, none of the people working that day know how. It’s a b#tch and takes like 4 hours. It shuts off and makes you clean it, so rest assured it’s gonna be clean. Just not when you need it.”
“The fruits and veggies you buy at the grocery store… Wash them.”
“Amusement park ride operator here. If your kid is crying and you want us to stop the ride, even if we want to it’s not gonna stop immediately. The carousel will spin a few more circles or the ship will swing a few more times before stopping. The only exceptions is the emergency stop which will absolutely f@#k up the ride for a while if we press it. Hence we only use it in actual life threatening situations. The best thing you can do is try to get your kid to calm down as the ride comes to a stop and no, yelling “Stop the ride” at us does not make it stop any faster.”
“At goodwill 50% of what you donate ends up in the trash because we don’t have the space for it or we just deem it too ugly.”
“The off brand products are created in the same factories as the name brand products a surprising amount of the time. The product itself is the same with different packaging and a lower retail price.”
“Firefighters are trained on several areas and can specialize deeper into certain disciplines. Most of the emergencies we get called to are situations we have never been trained on, but with 4 of us on a firetruck we can normally figure out a solution.”
“In Microsoft office, word specifically, you can upload recorded interviews and it will transcribe it and ever have speaker one and speaker two, three and four! Basically, eliminating a huge annoying part of the job.”
“I know a lot of people get annoyed when a store employee pushes the credit card, but at the kids clothing store I worked at, if you didn’t get at least x amount per day they cut our hours. I wasn’t pushing you a sh@#ty credit card to be an @$$hole, I was scared to lose my hours.”
“I’m in Cybersecurity and deal mostly with the largest companies and government’s in the world. Every one of them has been breached, to carrying degrees, by the Russians and Chinese. Almost daily. It’s not a matter of if they’ll get in It’s a matter of how long they’ll be there, and how much damage they’ll do, before you find them.”
“Weight loss industry. This might be obvious, but most of our business comes from return clients after they’ve gained their weight back (and then some). To be clear, the plan isn’t rigged to make you gain it back, but the fact that it happens easily as a result of dieting keeps us in business.”
“When it comes to retail:
If you’re night crew, day crew just dicks around all day, and doesn’t get anything done, leaving all of the work for you.
If you’re day crew, night crew just dicks around all night, and doesn’t get anything done, leaving all of the work for you.”
“New construction.
That $3k/$4k “luxury apartment” you’re renting is slapped together in a rush just like everything else is.
Also, if you’re on the 3rd floor or above, you have water bottles filled with urine stuffed inside your walls because the elevators are typically finished last.”
“If you’re someone who purchases bulk nuts, grains, etc. Just know that those bins are probably rarely cleaned, and even when they are “cleaned”, odds are they were just rinsed out/wiped down to look clean.
I used to be a bulk buyer at Whole Foods Market and when I took over our bulk department had no cleaning logs or sanitizing procedure. The bins had moths/insect colonies and mold in them. Our store was opened nearly 5 years prior.”
“Healthcare. Homemaker.
If your grandparent or parent gets in-home care, please know that your family member could live in a cockroach infested house and not have to move if they didn’t want to. It’s not up to the company to give your loved ones environmentally safe places to live, it’s up to the family. They can certainly try to persuade, but they can’t force.
Why do I know this? Because I’ve been to the cockroach infested house where an 80 year old woman lives. I have a mentally ill client that put bleach in his dog’s water to help with it’s breath. I have a client who never cleans his cat box. I have a client who has a caved in ceiling. I’ve called it in, but there is no help from the company. All they say is, “There’s nothing we can do. It’s up to the family members.”
Why do I know this? Because I’ve been to the cockroach infested house where an 80 year old woman lives. I have a mentally ill client that put bleach in his dog’s water to help with it’s breath. I have a client who never cleans his cat box. I have a client who has a caved in ceiling. I’ve called it in, but there is no help from the company. All they say is, “There’s nothing we can do. It’s up to the family members.”
It really worries me, because if I imagine my own mother having such a deteriorated mind and there were no other family members to help her, she could live in a run down, cockroach infested house if she was stubborn enough. It frustrates me, because whereas the client does have rights, should they really have the right to live somewhere where their health could be at risk? Where their caregivers could be at risk as well?”
“Vodka is really, really, really cheap to make: the glass bottle costs more than the juice”
“The cocktail you just bought might cover the cost of the entire bottle we used to make it.”
“Everything at the Container Store exists and is cheaper at Lowe’s.”
“Dress codes and other rules bouncers tell you at the door are usually made up on the fly.”