Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
“Women can be in the jungle for days but no body hair anywhere. Men instantly grow a beard”
“Hacking is typing really fast.”
“Looking away from the road for a solid 10 seconds while driving to talk to someone”
“Everyone’s house is neat and tidy.”
“Enhancing” a s@#ty quality image to 4k and zooming in to the size of a microbe with perfect clarity.”
“Working as a waitress and living in a huge apartment, with the fridge full, and expensive clothes.”
“The pushy dude in the romcom ends up getting the girl whereas in real life they’d be more likely to end up with a restraining order.”
“Being able to outrun an explosion.”
“Mom makes a huge breakfast and lays it all out. Kids and husband grab a bagel on the way out the door ignoring all the food”
“Wherever the detective has to go, he always finds a parking spot right in front of the place. Downtown Manhattan included.”
“People waking up with perfect make up, my wife points this out in everything we watch.”
“Actually being able to have a conversation at a bar while music is playing.”
“Police take a DNA sample and have the results in an hour.”
“Running with high heels (and not breaking a bone)”
“Easily avoidable issues if the person just explains what is happening”
“Bombs with a special display that counts down to zero.”
“In a fight, those henchmen usually fight the main character one by one, one on one until they all get beaten.”
” Meeting new friends the minute you move to a new town.”
“People in their twenties having large lavish apartments.”
“Physically fit and attractive people everywhere.”
“How normalized stalking is. “You dropped this, so I followed you for three hours to give it back” -> “Kiss and hug, now we’re dating”. In reality, it’s mace and call the cops for stalking.”
“Ask your friends to meet you at a predetermined time and place with no explanation as to why.
I have a hard time getting friends to meet up for legitimate reasons with advanced notice. Meanwhile, movie characters come together in an abandoned warehouse in Brazil like…
(all walk in at the same time)
“Why’d you call?””
“Not saying bye before hanging up.”
“You can have a Ph.D. in theoretical high-energy astrophysics, have finished your postdoc(s), and be running the biggest project in the organization by the time you are 23 if you are a woman and really pretty.”
“Walking home from the grocery store carrying a single paper bag with an unwrapped loaf of French bread sticking out the top.”
“Hackers. Perfect code, first try, no issues ever. If your code runs correctly first try, you’re confused and scared.”
“Nobody ever has to use the toilet.”
“Uninterested woman has a sudden change of heart for the loser guy and they live happily ever after.”
“Waking up from a long coma and being able to walk…”
“Guy walks in holding a 30-page document, gives to some other dude.
The dude who’s getting the document glances at the first page for a nanosecond and immediately knows everything there is to know about this case.”
“Unlimited bullets and accuraccy 100% for shooting normal bad guys”
“Cars exploding on impact”
“People not screaming in absolute agony when shot or stabbed in the gut.Reservoir dogs is one movie that did it realistically.”
“An orange filter when you go to mexico”
“Women in war zones and other longterm disaster situations with filthy matted hair and tattered grimy clothes always seem to find the time to have perfectly groomed eyebrows and put on a little make-up”
“People recovering very quickly from injuries, especially head injuries”
“Scientists in any field are experts in every other field of science as well, e.g. the physicist in Annihilation concluding the tree formations are due to homeotic mutations.”
“Background music. Life would be so much better with background music”
“In horror movies I always enjoy how fast and deep a perfectly symmetrical grave gets dug”
“Serial killers just standing there staring at you and giving you enough Time to escape.”