“My daughter saw the Bigfoot and said… ’Dad, take my picture with him!’”
“Hundreds of dollars on dog beds and this is all he wants.”
“I’m very patiently waiting for my fiancé to wake up so I can find out why there is a bite mark in the butter.”
“My neighbor ‘allegedly’ refused to pay the guy who cleared his back yard. He’ll be coming home to this gift left in his driveway.”
“I think I just discovered the ‘Sprite’ logo inspiration.”
“Your thumb is mine!”
“I may have underestimated how tall an 18” bed frame + box springs + mattress + topper is.”
“I have a neighbor who parks their McLaren in their front yard.”
“I asked my husband to buy some cheap plastic drinking cups so that we don’t break them. This is what he bought.”
“Bentley the Beagle got bitten by an ant at the park and his brother ensured his safety for the rest of the day.”
“I get an email every time I get a package delivered to my apartment’s mailroom.”
“It’s supposed to be a photo of the label, but there’s this one guy.”
“I fell asleep on the porch and woke up to this.”
“One of the orangutans at my zoo recently had a baby. Here he is in all his glory.”
“Rescued as a sickly fish in May 2020. Still a huge derp. Her name is Harriet.”