Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
“Best man’s speech recounted the tale of when the bride urinated in someone else’s shoes under a table.”
“Groom’s father made a speech along the lines of “we knew she was a keeper when he brought her home and we heard them f@#king in the bathroom.”
“At my cousin’s wedding, the priest made a long speech going on and on about how wonderful and responsible it was of the couple to get married once they got pregnant out of wedlock.
Most of the bride’s family did not yet know she was pregnant.”
“At my sister’s wedding, my alcoholic uncle went up and said a couple words.
Them being: “I’m surprised you managed to have a successful wedding, how did this happen without your mom being the over-controlling b#tch that she is?”
A silence like no other.”
“My wife’s best friend/maid of honor called me the wrong name in her toast. The name she called out: my wife’s ex-boyfriend. I laughed it off at the time, but to be honest I was pretty humiliated.”
“My brother’s best friend (been friends since childhood) gave a speech at his wedding that lasted about five minutes. He said nothing about the bride at all, only mentioned that my brother was a ‘good guy,’ and then proceeded to talk about his failed marriage (his ex-wife was in attendance), his child custody battle, and how much it pained him to see how happy the newlyweds looked since it brought back memories of his own failed marriage. To top it all off, he spoke in a really even, unemotional monotone.”
“My dad’s uncle (the groom’s father) did a toast when the groom and bride were at the altar (is this normal? Everyone around me seemed confused), and he said, ‘I’m glad I made it out here today. I just want you guys to know that I have cancer and I’m going to die soon. Congrats to my son and his beautiful bride. Enjoy your time!’ Everyone was in complete silence. It was the most awkward thing I’ve possibly ever witnessed.”
“I work as a banqueting chef. The groom stood to say the following: ‘Today I married the woman of my dreams, and I’d like to thank her for everything she has done for me. I would also like to thank my best man, who has been f**king her since we got engaged…
…With that, he mumbled a ‘cheers,’ downed his champagne, and got a taxi to the airport to start his honeymoon alone.”
“Was at a wedding where the father of the bride was giving his speech and talked about his daughter’s butt and had her stand up and turn around so everyone could see it. He then proceeded to talk about the bride and groom getting it on.”
“My brother was my best man and told a very touching story about when I was 16 and lied and cheated to skip baseball practice to instead hang out with my girlfriend on the bleachers. I met my wife when I was 18. Thanks, bro.”
“At my parent’s wedding the priest started with “We are gathered at this funeral today…” the worst part is he started going on with the typical funeral speech until he was stopped. To be fair he was well past retirement age.”
“At a wedding I went to recently, during his speech, the best man went off on a super-awkward tangent about how he lost his virginity to the bride and how he never would have guessed she’d end up with his best friend (the groom).”
“After stumbling his way through he awkwardly finishes with, ‘Sorry man, I’ll do better at your next one.’ The bride’s father pulled him aside and tore him a new one right afterward.”
“The best man: ‘When you told me that someday I would be your best man, I never thought it would be a half a year later. I just hope you know what you are doing.’ They got divorced four months later (they had only been dating a couple months).”
“Father of the Bride described her as the “ugly duckling” of the family, got booed”
“The best man rifled through all the groom’s failed past relationships, in some detail. Then he made fun of the bride and groom for meeting on Christian Mingle or some sh#t like that.
It was pretty brutal. Really killed the mood.”
“The bride made a speech to thank everyone for coming, but it turned out to be a speech about herself and how amazing she is, nothing about her new husband, she ended up explaining how she always licks her plate clean, then she licked her plate clean in front of 250 people. In her defense she was so drunk she could barely stand.”
“At a friend’s wedding, the bride’s sister gave an excruciatingly awkward speech about how her sister was able to find love before her and she didn’t feel complete. It went on for about 5 minutes and she was blubbering and sobbing up a storm. Then she topped it off by singing an off-key song.”
“Went to my uncle’s wedding a while back. His bride had been divorced and chose her family pastor to officiate. The pastor called my uncle her ex-husband’s name during the vows multiple times…my family was not happy.”
Source: www.boredpanda.com