Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
This is is your ultimate guide to navigating the wonders of America like a seasoned local. From the best hidden gems to tried-and-true hacks, Americans are revealing their insider knowledge to make your trip unforgettable.
“Hollywood. It has like a single block of its area that’s actually worth a visit — the one with the Chinese Theater. But the rest of the city is the complete opposite of the rose-tinted glass view it shows itself as. There are also a lot of ‘entrepreneurs’ trying to sell their businesses, and they aren’t afraid to be in your face about it. Don’t expect any decent eating either. Overall, it’s just not worth the visit.”
“Most of Downtown Los Angeles at night. When the streets get quiet and the locals go home, that’s your cue to go back to your hotel or a more popular hotspot.”
“Death Valley in the summer especially if you consider yourself a strong hiker, and live in a cooler climate. It has that name for a reason.”
“My uncle died hiking in Death Valley two summers ago. I think it was 118F, he was an exceptionally experienced hiker, but he was in his 60s. Heat exhaustion. Don’t try it.”
“Don’t hike into the wilderness of Colorado (especially 14ers) without knowing wilderness survival and responsibilities. Tourists die on our mountains and in Rocky Mountain National Park all the time. Do your research! Altitude is no joke.”
“Also don’t think you can slam shots like you do at home. Take it slooooow until you figure out your new altitude buzz level. Hey, it saves $$ on drinks, too!”
“The hot springs in Yellowstone are not hot tubs do not swim in them.”
“I visited Montana. There was a coffee shop in a little town by the entrance to Yellowstone that had a death pool for when the next tourist would die by either going off the trail to be boiled alive in the hot springs or trying to pet a bear/buffalo. You gave a dollar and predicted the day. If someone died on your day you won the pot.”
“Anywhere with a Rainforest Cafe and a Wax Museum on the same street is a tourist trap.”
“Nashville has a mall with Madame Tussauds, Rainforest Cafe, AND Aquarium Restaurant.”
“San Francisco Fisherman’s Wharf has entered the chat.”
“We even have a Hard Rock Cafe and Bubba Gumps!”
“Navy Pier in Chicago, too. Very similar concept. Literally only for tourists. It’s not bad, per se. Just not really an ‘authentic’ Chicago experience.”
“The deserts of the southwest, unless you’re prepared for it and understand the dangers of that environment. It isn’t uncommon for us to get folks from Europe who decide to go hiking at the worst times of the day without enough water. Some of them die. It’s really easy to get dehydrated and possibly die even in ‘safe’ areas, and the danger can sneak up on you.”
“Avoid large chain restaurants. The best food in America comes from small owner-operated businesses.”
“I’ve never seen the center of such a major city empty out so bloody fast and look like The Walking Dead in a matter of a few hours. It was actually fascinating to see…”
“In Alaska, please don’t go close to the wildlife. The bears will kill you along with the moose. Just no period. I’ve seen so many tourists get attacked by bears and moose, it ain’t pretty…”
“Nashville. It’s nothing but bachelorette parties these days. Everywhere. Nonstop. They never end.”
“I lived in Nashville for five years and I can honestly count the number of times I went downtown on two hands.”
“Trenton, New Jersey. It’s the state capital, there is a good museum. But it looks bombed-out and I won’t even stop at red lights while in Trenton.”
“Trenton is what people not from New Jersey think New Jersey is. New Jersey has some shockingly wealthy areas, some areas of pristine natural beauty, and tons of farmland with delicious produce. Instead, people focus on Trenton and the Jersey Shore.”
“Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Too many people, and it’s a huge tourist trap. While the Smoky Mountains are beautiful you can enjoy less crowded scenery by staying in North Carolina and visiting the park around that side. Also, the Cherokee National Forest is magnificent.”
“Dollywood is about the only reason I’d go up to visit.”
“Don’t stay in any hotels with an exterior entrance that leads directly into your room.”
“If you want to see American Southern culture…Don’t. Go. To. Cracker. Barrel. It is the worst, fakest possible version of what you’re interested in. It is to rural America what Olive Garden is to Italy.”
“My co-worker used to work at Cracker Barrel. They apparently used to advertise heavily at tourist hubs, handing out flyers and the whole bit. They would get multiple charter busses full of tourists every week, who were there specifically to go to Cracker Barrel.”
Finally, “Avoid going to one location thinking another location across the country is a short trip.”
“I used to work at a hotel, and tourists would tell me all the time about their one-week vacation plans that involved a road trip from NYC to Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and LA.”
“Seriously, in America, if you travel for 10 hours in a car, you might still be in the same state. If you travel by car for 10 hours in Europe, everyone’s talking funny and the cheese is different.”