Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
Years ago, at a lumber company. Had a guy, less than two hours after he started on his first day, pick up his car with a forklift and stand underneath it to see what was rattling when he drove.
I worked retail, and we had an employee that would hide and take naps inside racks of clothes. Somehow that wasn’t the reason we fired her. We fired her for stealing clothes and then wearing them to work.
Dumba$$ stole a $100 bill out of the register at the end of his FIRST shift alone on register.
A guy shaved/trimmed off his pubes and left them scattered across a shared desk in a shared office. When confronted, he pulled a George Costanza: “Oh, is that frowned upon?”
Not too crazy. More stupid than crazy.
One of the programmers on my team was sitting at his desk looking at porn. And this is cubicle land. No offices. My Director walked into the area to talk to me and saw it. Then it was the first thing he told me about, so I got up and walked over for a look myself and there it was. Me and the Director looked at each and I said I gotta take care of this.
So we walked back to HR, I told them what was going on and what we saw and they told me to fire him. So I did. He lost a $110K job for looking at porn on his computer at work.
I work for a hotel. Had to fire 2 separate employees on 2 different occasions for letting people in vacant rooms to smoke crack and steal from the rooms.
The guy had somehow hung on by the skin of his teeth when caught making plastic model funny cars at his desk (pro tip: throwing a newspaper over the model doesn’t hide the smell of the glue), but when a client called complaining about our hero trying to sell him golf clubs out of the trunk of his car, he was gone.
One of my ER nurses was chasing another down the hall with a scalpel in her hand screaming at the top of her lungs “I’m going to cut you b@#ch!”
Had to fire a guy for coming to work high on meth and getting lost in a closet while painting it. Asked what the deal was and was told”shhhh I am having a conversation”. That was his last day lmao
I worked at a retail store and found one of my coworkers was using the company iPad (that we used to play music and order lunches) to go on Craigslist and search for hookups. She didn’t even bother to delete the search history.
Once a had a guy call in sick to his restaurant/bar shift right before his shift and then proceeded to show up s@#t faced drunk for happy hour during the time he was supposed to be working.
He was not a bright man.
CEO ordered me to fire one of my interns because he was trying to hit on one of the other interns the CEO had the hots for.
We had someone fall asleep at his desk with a lit cigarette in his hand. In a office full of cubicles like maybe… 6-7 years ago? Smoking wasn’t legal anywhere indoors let alone in an office building lmao
And the first time he wasn’t even fired. He was fired when it happened again!
Had a food and beverage manager that brought a coffee into his, female assistant manager on inventory day when the 2 of them would be alone performing inventory. She drank about half the coffee, started feeling dizzy and saw there was a heavy table pushed up against the door.
She freaked out, and got out of the area. She went to HR and they tested the coffee and it was roofied. Definitely the most interesting firing I was involved in.
I was a bartender/bar manager. This guy came in one night and said he was an aspiring DJ and asked if we would consider hiring him to come in just on Sunday nights to DJ for us. He said we wouldn’t have to pay him at first, he would just take tips and we could renegotiate after he helped to build up our Sunday night crowd.
He lasted less than 3 months. He drove away so much business and I got SO many complaints. He played the same songs every week and when people made requests (for commonly known songs), he had no idea who they (the musicians) were.
I had to fire someone who was working for free. He was a nice guy, which is the only reason he lasted as long as he did.
He worked at the company for 2 weeks, came to the Christmas party on friday, got s@#t faced, told the HR manager that she was a slut and would die alone (they had some previous vaguely romantic history, went on a couple of dates or something) tried to fight 2 of the customer service managers who asked him to calm down, and while being escorted out he turned to the CEO and COO and told them to go f@#k themselves.
He showed up to work on the Monday talking about how fun the party was and how he had seen some people who would probably be called into HR that morning.. he was the first and only employee to be called and was sacked on the spot.
Hoo boy…
I’d have to go with the guy who in the span of 24 hours…
-Started a fist fight with another employee (on camera, with witnesses) then called the police and said the other guy did it, trying to press charges. I just sent the video.
-Trespassed on the property the following day and slurred at my boss (on camera, with witnesses), then called the police and said my boss did it. I just sent the video.
-Hurt himself somehow and went to the hospital, where he told the doctor he’d been attacked at work. Doc found no injury consistent with his story and well yeah, camera…