Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
“Hey, there’s room in my tent if you want to join me”
“Thanks, but I brought my own tent!”
“A girl literally confessed her feelings directly to me and I didn’t hear it cause I zoned out looking at a squirrel”
“A girl once burned me a mix CD of almost nothing but love songs. My guy friends and I held a small conference where we listened to the CD in full and tried to see if there was some hidden message there.
We came up with a solid maybe. There were 6 of us debating this.”
“Me posting on Facebook: “anyone wanna go hiking this weekend?”
Cute girl: “I’ll go.”
After a long hike and dinner, I still didn’t know I was on a date until I was dropping her off. Seriously thought we were just hiking. We’re married now.”
“Picture this: teenage me in bed with my girlfriend, sans clothes and doing some heavy petting. I had a condom in my wallet, like a sauve motherf@#ker. She asked to see it. I told her “I only want to take it out of the package if I’m going to use it.”
She replied “Okay, take it out.” Me: “Nah, I only want to take it out if I’m going to use it.” Her: “Let’s take it out.” Me: “No, don’t want to waste it.” Her: “…””
“Her: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No…no one would date me anyway.
Her: I’d date you.
Me: Thanks, but you don’t need to pity me.
Her: I would date you
Me: Thanks but…
Her: Are you free on Saturday?
Me: Surprised Pikachu face
And we’re going on two years in October”
“Watching TV in my living room at roughly 2am, in the dark
Her: applying strawberry lip gloss.
Me: why are you putting on lip gloss?
Her: strawberry lip gloss tastes so nice.
Me: haha youre weird
Her: want to taste?
Me: nah I already know what it tastes like”
“Early interaction with my boyfriend-
Me: “That suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor.”
Him: “That would wrinkle the suit.””
“I was living with my then-boyfriend a few years ago. Feeling a little flirtatious, I suggested we could take a shower together, you know, to save water, wink wink.
His response? “Why? We don’t pay for water.” Shut. Down.”
“I was out of town, chatting to a girl at a bar. We figured out I was 13 inches taller than her. She said, “That’s funny, I’m going on a date with a guy who is 13 inches taller than me tomorrow. And I’ll probably f@#k him after.”
My response? “Well, that’s a weird coincidence!”
I didn’t figure it out until I was on a plane home.”
“She learned to say I love you in my parents native language. And I still missed the hint.”
“When I was drunkenly flirting with a girl (I never flirt and I’m horrible with girls in general so didn’t think I was getting anywhere) and asked her where the bathroom was. She said ‘I’ll show you’ then came in with me and asked what I wanted to do.
Awfully confused I says ‘well I want to have a piss, you’ll have to leave’.
She said ‘oh’ and left”
“I was living overseas in a place where it was difficult to find CDs (this was pre-streaming). A girl I knew had started chatted to me on Facebook.
I thought nothing much of it, figured she was out of my league, it was nice to chat. But, you know, I chatted to lots of people.
A few weeks into this chatting, I get a package in the mail. In it is Radiohead’s “In Rainbows”, with a note that says, “Hope you enjoy. My favorite track is 8. x”
I message her, I say thanks and that I really dug track 5.
“What about track 8?”
“Oh, yeah, it’s okay.”
“I really think you should listen to track 8 again.”
Track 8 was “House of Cards”, which opens: “I don’t want to be your friend / I just want to be your lover / No matter how it ends / No matter how it starts””
“A girl literally asked me to help her change. We were alone in her house. I respectfully declined for her privacy.”
“She asked if I was interested in dating. Thought she meant in general and said no because I didn’t really have an interest in dating anyone but her.
She got pretty distant after that. Didn’t realize she was talking about the two of us dating until later.”