Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
My aunt had a case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor hoses together so he wouldnt spend more time washing his vehicle anymore. When the glue didnt work she just cut them all up. When he bought new ones ahe filed for divorce.
My aunt was dating an unemployed dude for a while. He was staying in her house rent free. They got married and were getting ready to go on the honeymoon when the new husband tells her he’s not going because he has to take care of his plants at the house. Big fight. Aunt goes on the honeymoon with her sisters instead.
She comes home and tries to kick him out of her house, he refuses to leave. She tries to get the police involved. Dude is live-streaming on Facebook how he is being trapped in his own home. Police tell my aunt there is basically nothing they can do, can file for eviction after a divorce. Dude gets to live in her house with his precious plants for like 3 months until everything legally gets worked out.
I’ve had a lot of younger male potential clients come in for divorce consults with their mother. Then, during the consult, the mother does 98% of the talking, and it’s clear who actually wants the divorce. (I’ll usually escort Mom to wait in the lobby while I talk to the son directly, and most of the time he’s just there to appease his mother.)
On a related note, I once had just the mother call for a consult because she said explicitly she wanted her son to get a divorce. I politely informed her that’s not how divorces worked…
At my last firm we did general law, which included probate. A couple did their will with our firm. We drafted everything, they were mid-70’s to early 80’s. Married 40 years total. Divorced and remarried once. Husband wanted us to put in his will that his kids get his entire estate, but did not want us to tell his wife. He wanted to have us make a secret will and a fake will. The fake will would be signed with her present, and then he wanted us to shred it and he will come in later to sign the “real will.”
He copied his wife on the email that had all of this information disclosed in it. 2 weeks later he called us and said he wanted to file for divorce instead.
Paralegal. A couple got divorced over a cat. Wife called cat Snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast. Husband called cat Lily, again because of white fur and believed it should only eat dry food. These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a s@#t about their human kids aged 15 months, 4 years, and 6 years old.
Next day she comes home to find two dozen construction guys and their heavy equipment tearing the bathroom walls. A week or so later, they finish up the bathroom. She comes home to a sign left on the fridge with a note to drink up, she got some watering to do.
I don’t know what exactly she put down as the official reason in the paperwork but that was definitely her biggest reason to walk out of that relationship. Oh I forgot to add, he also wanted to bring a horse to do the deed as well and at times, asked her to make animal sounds while she stood on top of him.
My client put his wife in an assisted living facility based on a misdiagnosis, the medication of which caused the wife to be unable to care for herself. While in the facility, my client shocker started dating another woman and methinks began using hard drugs. He used a loooot of money on both of these things. She eventually got off the medication and got better. Suffice to say, she was not happy about what had transpired.
My 90 year old client (the husband) and his son retained me to initiate divorce proceedings with his 88 year old wife. They’d been married 60 years. The wife had recently taken to beating him with his own cane, because their daughter poisoned her into thinking he was hiding money from them. The battle came down to husband and son versus wife and daughter.
At their first court appearance, my client showed up in an old 1950s style pin stripe suit and fedora. He was a farmer his whole life, and this was clearly the only suit he owned. He was such a meek and lovely old gentleman.
I had to pass my client onto a new lawyer midway through the proceedings because I accepted a job in a different country, but I understand the divorce was eventually granted.
I represented a porn actress/webcam model who filed for divorce from her husband who also did the porn/webcam model business. He would do gay porn on the side because the pay was better. She was hesitant about it, but dealt with it because the pay was decent. Both sides had an agreement that it wasn’t cheating as long as it was for work.
One day she came home early and found her husband in bed with two men… they were not filming… that was too much for her. Needless to say, the old conservative judge couldn’t wrap his head around this one…
I’m an intern but the judge I work for used to do divorce work. He has some crazy stories but this one is probably the most outrageous, though the divorce was pretty justified. Every morning this couple would sit in the bathroom together while one of them had their morning dump. One would sit on the toilet and the other on the rim of the bathtub. This particular morning the wife was on the toilet and husband on the edge of the tub.
They started to argue about their relationship so the wife reaches down, pulls her tampon out and flings it at husband. I’m told the tampon stuck for a brief second to his forehead before sliding off. He filed for divorce that same day or the next.
My douche cousin told his wife she had three chances to give him a son. Daughter was born first. Strike one. Son was born second. Then they find out the boy can’t eat gluten. So my cousin divorced her and has made zero effort to see his kids.
Oh, I remembered something else he did. He would take off work and instead of spending time with the babies or her he’d tell her ‘just act like im at work and do all your normal stuff.’ Then he’d watch tv all day. Douche.
Not me, but a friend my mum has divorced her husband because his mother still coddled him at age 40, with his consent. They lived with his mother (common in Asia).
By coddle I mean that she would walk straight into their room after his shower and powder his back for him.
They couldn’t lock their bedroom door because his mother would come in as and when she wanted. If they locked the door, she would knock repeatedly asking what they were doing.
Lol what would they be possibly doing??? Playing poker???
Not the most outrageous, but I had a client incur about 20 additional hours of billable hours because he and his ex-wife were battling and went to trial over their Star Wars Collection. This was the only issue at trial, they were able to work out custody, child support, the house, but the Star Wars collection went to trial.
The Judge ended up splitting it in the most assholish way possible, basically giving each side half of what they wanted and then mixing and matching everything else and breaking up ‘collections’.
When speaking about it at a conference, the Judge admitted she did it because if they were going to act like children, she would treat them like children. The thing is, the value of this collection was over $100k, so hardly kids stuff.
Neither side had it in them to appeal (nor was the case law on either side given judicial discretion in property distribution).