“My blind friend got engaged yesterday…he’s pretty sure.”
“Colonoscopy tomorrow, clear liquid diet today. So I’m making myself a nice, peach jello on jello sandwich.”
“After getting hit by a car this year, I thought this was the only appropriate costume for Halloween!”
“I got my mask in the mail. Maybe I should’ve gone with better quality…”
“Just lost my foot after a motorcycle accident. This is the sticker my son chose to decorate my brace with.”
“So, my dog tells me we have termites.”
“My husband was upset, so he built a ’bearicade.’”
“How my employer gave us his 2-week notice…”
“My mom is helping me pack and stay uncluttered while going through a separation. This pretty much sums up my life.”
Source: brightside.me