Barnorama All Fun In The Barn
Mountain Lions (puma, panther, cougar, whatever you want to call them)
When hiking through the woods nothing is scarier than hearing the scream of this big cat close by.
Running may not be your best option here. Like a house-cat, they enjoy the thrill of the hunt and will become more intrigued when their prey tries to escape. Instead, act aggressively, usually the cat will back down but if not, get ready for a fight.
Black Bear
Depending on which bear you come against determines how you should react. For a black bear, your best chance is to act aggressively. Use big exaggereted movements accompanied by yelling and screaming.
Grizzly Bear
Unlike the black bear, you will not be able to scare this guy off. Instead, fall on the ground in the fetal position and pray that the bear loses interest.
Polar Bear
The black and grizzly bear may feint an attack as a threat, this guy won’t. Try to travel in groups when in Polar Bear country. But, if this guy comes in for an attack he means business, so put up the dukes because it’s time for a brawl.
Alligator
The good news is you will most likely survive a gator attack, the bad news is you might lose a limb while you’re at it. Gators will usually try to rip chunks off of their prey instead of going for the kill-shot. They are also very calculated hunters. Gators will pick-up on patterns by humans especially those with dogs. Experts say to vary your walking path if in gator territory to keep them guessing.
Crocodile
There’s a common myth that running in a zig-zag pattern may help you escape a croc. Instead, just run straight away. Crocodiles aren’t big on running and will most likely not try to chase you. But, if a croc does attack it may be game over. Crocodiles are significantly more aggressive and deadly than alligators, and will attack even if unprovoked.
Wolf
If face to face with a wolf don’t run, they will catch you every time. You’re only chance here is to fight back. Also, like the movies, campfires, torches, and flare guns are great deterrents.
Bull
Contrary to popular belief, the color red makes no difference to this animal more than any other color. Rather, it is quick movements that draws their attention and target. If a bull attacks try to gather whatever objects you have on you such as a backpack, hat, or shirt. As the bull comes closer wave the object and throw it. The animal will usually target the moving object giving you a chance to escape.
Kangaroo
This marsupial will usually not attack humans if they don’t feel threatened. If one does attack, surprisingly coughing works as a deterrent. The ‘roo will think that is a sign of disease and will not want to fight a sick animal. They are also very competitive animals. If challenged to a fight a kangaroo will put you down. I guarantee you won’t go 10-rounds with Jack.
Elephant
An aggressive elephant is usually a mother who thinks her young are in danger. If you see the ears pulled back and the trunk curled, then momma is pissed, and you’re about to be crushed. Slowly move away from the elephant and find a barrier to hide behind.
Snake
There’s too many different species to have a specific reaction to each. But, in most cases, just don’t fuck with them. You are not food to this animal and they will usually not attack unless threatened. And, if you live in an area with snakes, please try to identify the snake before acting.
Non-venomous king snakes are often killed because of mistaken-identity. The irony here is the king snake eats venomous snakes. So your “heroic” act of killing that “scary looking” snake just put everyone in more danger.
Shark
If encountered with a shark always maintain eye-contact, move slowly, and go for the eyes and gills if attacked.
Unless it’s a genetically mutated super-genius shark, well then you’re already dead.